Judgement, Gossiping, and Comparison are problems between one another simply because...

*The Embarrassing Hard Truths.*

We let Intimidation and our own Insecurities block out our ability to connect on a genuine level.

The Cycle: JUDGEMENT ➞ GOSSIP ➞ COMPARISON

1. JUDGEMENT

Whether it is done consciously or unconsciously, as human beings we love to "eat with our eyes" first. When meeting someone for the first time we pay very close attention to how someone looks. We look at: "The facials." "The hair." "The body type." "How one dresses."

Once a physical appearance is established then we move on to being observant:

"How someone carries themself." "How someone acts." "What someone has."

Then after collecting what we think is "enough information" about either a person we just met, don't even know, or already know we begin to judge.

We take the easy route by judging what we can only see from the outside of a person instead of building on our social skills which would guide us to what we could discover from within. Although we have no control over who or what we come across, we can make the choice to choose what we want to see.

2. GOSSIP

We take the easy route of gossiping about others by concentrating on what's wrong with other people's lives so that we can avoid focusing on our own and the things we know we need to improve on. Although we have difficulty controlling our emotions and our opinions, we have the power to control our tongues for the things we find out and for the information that we know.

3. COMPARISON

We compare ourselves to other people every single day. We do this because we are exposed to each other's worlds through a tiny screen, society's expectations and small-mindedness. This causes us to be insecure about the things we don't have and the personal characteristics we possess that are still being developed and have not yet mastered. We cannot change our circumstances or our personalities overnight because growth is a process. However, we can speed up that process by staying in our own lane and concentrating on following our own direction.

It's ironic because we yearn to be recognized for what lies within yet we simply cannot do that for other people around us. If its for someone we don't know we decide not to put in the time or effort to get to know that person because we lack confidence. If it's for someone we do know we decide to focus on what we supposedly already know about them instead of recognize their changes. If someone gave us a bad experience we mostly choose to rehash and dwell instead of being grateful for the eye opener or lesson learned.

Let's be real. We're human and these human acts are not just going to simply go away.

But whenever you notice one of them starting to creep up on you, shut it down by recognizing that you should probably check yourself and evaluate if you are aligned in your own life for how you want to be. A true authentic, happy person will not fall for these shallow and fatal traps. When you engage in dragging someone else down, whether you realize it or not, you end up dragging yourself down 100 feet deeper.

We're all not perfect, but we can better.